This list contains books that many PFLAG Bellevue/Eastside members have found helpful. You can obtain most of them through King County Library System. (Otherwise, check Amazon.com or other vendors.) We chose these books with adults in mind and some contain frank and explicit references to sexuality and gender and/or strong language. For appropriate books for younger readers, check these resources:
- For teens and young adults, check the King County Library System LGBTQ Teens list, based on recommendations from librarians.
- For middle school students, check our book list, created by public and school librarians.
- For young children, check the LGBTQ Children’s literature list on GoodReads.
Coming Out LGBTQ
- Conversations and Cosmopolitans: Awkward Moments, Mixed Drinks, and How a Mother and Son Finally Shared Who They Really Are
Robert Rave and Jane Rave
New York : St. Martin’s Griffin, 2011 - GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens
Kelly Huegel
Minneapolis, Minn. : Free Spirit Pub., 2003 - Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws
Kate Bornstein
New York : Seven Stories Press, c2006 - It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living
Dan Savage
New York : Dutton, c2011 - Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty
Robin McCoy
San Jose, CA : Writers Club, 2000 - Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human
Robert N. Minor
St. Louis, MO : Humanity Works!, 2001 - The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door: A Coming-Out Guide on a Journey toward Unconditional Self-Love
Chelsea Griffo
Balboa Press (April 16, 2014)
Coming Out as Transgender/Genderfluid
- Becoming a Visible Man
Jamison Green
Nashville, TN : Vanderbilt University Press, 2004 - Finding the Real Me: True Tales of Sex and Gender Diversity
Tracie O’Keefe
San Francisco, CA : Jossey-Bass, ©2003 - Mom I Need to be a Girl
Just Evelyn
Longmont, CO : Just Evelyn, ©2007
Understanding and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child
- Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, or Questioning Son or Daughter
Kevin Jennings and Pat Shapiro
New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, 2003 - Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community (Bisexuality)
William Burleson
New York : Harrington Park Press, c2005 - Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences
Carolyn W. Griffin and Marian J. Wirth
New York : St. Martin’s Griffin, ©1996 - Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Kids
Anne Dohrenwend
Far Hills, N.J. : New Horizon Press, c2012 - Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child
Michael C. LaSala
New York : Columbia University Press, ©2010 - My Child is Gay: How Parents React When They Hear the News, Something to Tell You
Bryce McDougall
St. Leonards, N.S.W. : Allen & Unwin, 1998 - Now That You Know: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Updated Edition
Betty Fairchild and and Nancy Hayward
San Diego, Calif. : Harcourt Brace, 1998 - Something to Tell You
Gilbert Herdt and Bruce Koffhttp
New York : Columbia University Press, 1999 - The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out
Robb Forman Dew
Reading, Mass. : Addison-Wesley, c1994 - The Letter Q: Queer Writers’ Notes to Their Younger Selves
New York : Arthur A. Levine Books, 2012 - This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life
Dannielle Owens-Reid
Chronicle Books, (September 9, 2014) - Wandering Close to Home: A Gay Son and His Feminist Mother’s Journey to Transform Themselves and Their Family
Linda Drajem, Chrisopher Drajem
NFB Publishing ©2020
Understanding and Supporting Your Transgender/Genderfluid Child
- Gender Born, Gender Made: Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children
by Diane Ehrensaft PhD and Edgardo Menvielle MD MSHS
New York : Experiment, 2011 - Helping Your Transgender Teen: A Guide for Parents Paperback
Irwin Krieger
New Haven : Genderwise Press, c2011 - My Daughter He: Transitioning with our Transgender Children
Candice Waldron
Rockport, MA :, Stone Circle Press, 2014 - My Princess Boy
Cheryl Kilodavis
New York : Aladdin, 2011 - The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
Stephanie A. Brill
San Francisco, Calif. : Cleiss Press, c2008 - Transgender 101: A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue
Nicholas M. Teich
New York : Columbia University Press, c2012 - Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
Rachel Pepper
Berkeley, Calif. : Cleis Press, c2012
Being the Spouse of an LGBTQ Person
- My Husband’s a Woman Now: A Shared Journey of Transition and Love
Leslie Hilburn Fabian
Virtualbookworm.com Publishing 2014 - Sex Changes. A Memoir of Marriage, Gender, and Moving On
Christine Benvenuto
New York : St. Martin’s Press, 2012 - The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families
Amity Buxton
WILEY 1994 - Unseen-Unheard: Straight Spouses from Trauma to Transformation
Amity Buxton
British Columbia, Canada :, CCB Publishing, 2013
Finding Faith-Based Support
- Building A Bridge: How the Catholic Church and the LGBT Community Can Enter Into A Relationship of Respect, Compassion, and Sensitivity
by Father James Martin
New York, NY : HarperOne, ©2017
- Changing Our Mind, second edition
by David P Gushee and Phyllis Tickle
Canton, MI : David Crumm Media, LLC, ©2014 - Does Jesus Really Love Me?: A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God in America
Jeff Chu
New York : Harper, c2013 - God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships
Matthew Vines
Colorado Springs, Colorado] :, Convergent Books;, 2014 - Over Coffee
Dave Thompson
Tacoma, WA :, BlueHead Pub., [2010] - Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America
Mel White
New York : Plume, 1995 - Torah Queeries: Weekly Commentaries on the Hebrew
New York : New York University Press ; Chesham : Combined Academic [distributor], 2012
David Shneer - Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate
Justin Lee
Jericho Books; Reprint edition (May 14, 2013) - UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question
John Shore
[Lexington, KY : s.n.], c2013
Scientific Inquiry on Sexual Orientation
- Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity
Bruce Bagemihl
New York : St. Martin’s Press, c1999 - Separate Creation: The Search for the Biological Origins of Sexual Orientation
Chandler Burr
Hyperion; First Edition, Thus edition (June 26, 1997) - Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire
Lisa M Diamond
Cambridge, Mass. : Harvard University Press, 2008
Memoirs
Bisexual
Swinging on the Gate: A Spiritual Memoir (faith-based)
Elizabeth Andrew
Boston : Skinner House Books, 2000
Gay Men
- Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story
Paul Monette
New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, c1992 - The Best Little Boy in the World
by Andrew Tobias (written as John Reid)
New York : Ballantine Books, 1993 - Man in the Middle
John Amaechi
ESPN; First Edition edition (February 20, 2007)
Lesbian
- Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer
Chely Wright
New York : Pantheon Books, c2010 - Prairie Silence: A Memoir
Melanie Hoffert
Boston : Beacon Press, c2013
Transgender/Genderfluid
- A Queer and Pleasant Danger
Kate Bornstein
Boston : Beacon Press, [2012] - Redefining Realness:My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More
Janet Mock
New York :, Atria Books, 2014 - Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life
Ryan K. Sallans
Omaha : Scout Publishing, ©2013 - She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders
Jennifer Finney Boylan
New York : Broadway Paperbacks, c2013 - TransMontana: A Memoir of Transformation in Body, Mind & Spirit
Roberta R. Zenker
Bozeman, Mont. : ICGtesting.com, 2012 - Two Spirits, One Heart: A Mother, Her Transgender Son, and Their Journey to Love and Acceptance
Marsha Aizumi
Arcadia, California, Peony Press, 2012
PFLAG Bellevue Eastside 