Recommended Reading

This list contains books that many PFLAG Bellevue/Eastside members have read and found helpful. Most of them are available through King County Library System, indicated by their linked title. If not, you can find the book at Amazon.com or check with other vendors

These books are chosen with adults in mind and in some cases contain frank and even explicit references to sexuality and gender and/or strong language.  For books more appropriate for younger readers, you might consult these resources:

  • For teens and young adults, check the King County Library System LGBTQ Teens list, based on recommendations from librarians.
  • For middle school students, check our book list, created by public and school librarians.
  • For young children, check the LGBTQ Children’s literature list on GoodReads.

Coming Out LGBTQ

Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents
Mary Borhek
Pilgrim Press; Rev Upd edition (October 1993)

Conversations and Cosmopolitans: Awkward Moments, Mixed Drinks, and How a Mother and Son Finally Shared Who They Really Are
Robert Rave and Jane Rave
New York : St. Martin’s Griffin, 2011

GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens
Kelly Huegel
Minneapolis, Minn. : Free Spirit Pub., 2003

Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws
Kate Bornstein
New York : Seven Stories Press, c2006

It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living
Dan Savage
New York : Dutton, c2011

Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty
Robin McCoy
San Jose, CA : Writers Club, 2000

Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human
Robert N. Minor
St. Louis, MO : Humanity Works!, 2001

The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door: A Coming-Out Guide on a Journey toward Unconditional Self-Love
Chelsea Griffo
Balboa Press (April 16, 2014)

Coming Out as Transgender/Genderfluid

Becoming a Visible Man
Jamison Green
Nashville, TN : Vanderbilt University Press, 2004

Finding the Real Me: True Tales of Sex and Gender Diversity
Tracie O’Keefe
San Francisco, CA : Jossey-Bass, ©2003

Mom I Need to be a Girl
Just Evelyn
Longmont, CO : Just Evelyn, ©2007

Understanding and Supporting Your LGBTQ Child

Always My Child: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered, or Questioning Son or Daughter
Kevin Jennings and Pat Shapiro
New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, 2003

Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community (Bisexuality)
William Burleson
New York : Harrington Park Press, c2005

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences
Carolyn W. Griffin and Marian J. Wirth
New York : St. Martin’s Griffin, ©1996

Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Kids
Anne Dohrenwend
Far Hills, N.J. : New Horizon Press, c2012

Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child
Michael C. LaSala
New York : Columbia University Press, ©2010

My Child is Gay: How Parents React When They Hear the News, Something to Tell You
Bryce McDougall
St. Leonards, N.S.W. : Allen & Unwin, 1998

Now That You Know: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Updated Edition
Betty Fairchild and and Nancy Hayward
San Diego, Calif. : Harcourt Brace, 1998

Something to Tell You
Gilbert Herdt and Bruce Koffhttp
New York : Columbia University Press, 1999

The Family Heart: A Memoir of When Our Son Came Out
Robb Forman Dew
Reading, Mass. : Addison-Wesley, c1994

The Letter Q: Queer Writers’ Notes to Their Younger Selves
New York : Arthur A. Levine Books, 2012

This Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life
Dannielle Owens-Reid
Chronicle Books, (September 9, 2014)

Understanding and Supporting Your Transgender/Genderfluid Child

Gender Born, Gender Made: Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children
by Diane Ehrensaft PhD and Edgardo Menvielle MD MSHS
New York : Experiment, 2011

Helping Your Transgender Teen: A Guide for Parents Paperback
Irwin Krieger
New Haven : Genderwise Press, c2011

My Daughter He: Transitioning with our Transgender Children
Candice Waldron
Rockport, MA :, Stone Circle Press, 2014

My Princess Boy
Cheryl Kilodavis
New York : Aladdin, 2011

The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals
Stephanie A. Brill
San Francisco, Calif. : Cleiss Press, c2008

Transgender 101: A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue
Nicholas M. Teich
New York : Columbia University Press, c2012

Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
Rachel Pepper
Berkeley, Calif. : Cleis Press, c2012

Being a Spouse of an LGBTQ Person

My Husband’s a Woman Now: A Shared Journey of Transition and Love
Leslie Hilburn Fabian
Virtualbookworm.com Publishing 2014

Sex Changes. A Memoir of Marriage, Gender, and Moving On
Christine Benvenuto
New York : St. Martin’s Press, 2012

The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families
Amity Buxton
WILEY 1994

Unseen-Unheard: Straight Spouses from Trauma to Transformation
Amity Buxton
British Columbia, Canada :, CCB Publishing, 2013

Finding Faith-Based Support

Changing Our Mind, second edition
by David P Gushee and Phyllis Tickle
Canton, MI : David Crumm Media, LLC, ©2014

Does Jesus Really Love Me?: A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God in America
Jeff Chu
New York : Harper, c2013

God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships
Matthew Vines
Colorado Springs, Colorado] :, Convergent Books;, 2014

Over Coffee
Dave Thompson
Tacoma, WA :, BlueHead Pub., [2010]

Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America
Mel White
New York : Plume, 1995

Torah Queeries: Weekly Commentaries on the Hebrew
New York : New York University Press ; Chesham : Combined Academic [distributor], 2012
David Shneer

Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate
Justin Lee
Jericho Books; Reprint edition (May 14, 2013)

UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question
John Shore
[Lexington, KY : s.n.], c2013

Scientific Inquiry on Sexual Orientation

Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity
Bruce Bagemihl
New York : St. Martin’s Press, c1999

Separate Creation: The Search for the Biological Origins of Sexual Orientation
Chandler Burr
Hyperion; First Edition, Thus edition (June 26, 1997)

Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire
Lisa M Diamond
Cambridge, Mass. : Harvard University Press, 2008

Memoirs

Bisexual

Swinging on the Gate: A Spiritual Memoir (faith-based)
Elizabeth Andrew
Boston : Skinner House Books, 2000

Gay Men

Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story
Paul Monette
New York : Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, c1992

The Best Little Boy in the World
by Andrew Tobias (written as John Reid)
New York : Ballantine Books, 1993

Man in the Middle
John Amaechi
ESPN; First Edition edition (February 20, 2007)

Lesbian

Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer
Chely Wright
New York : Pantheon Books, c2010

Prairie Silence: A Memoir
Melanie Hoffert
Boston : Beacon Press, c2013

Transgender/Genderfluid

A Queer and Pleasant Danger
Kate Bornstein
Boston : Beacon Press, [2012]

Redefining Realness:My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More
Janet Mock
New York :, Atria Books, 2014

Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life
Ryan K. Sallans
Omaha : Scout Publishing, ©2013

She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders
Jennifer Finney Boylan
New York : Broadway Paperbacks, c2013

TransMontana: A Memoir of Transformation in Body, Mind & Spirit
Roberta R. Zenker
Bozeman, Mont. : ICGtesting.com, 2012

Two Spirits, One Heart: A Mother, Her Transgender Son, and Their Journey to Love and Acceptance
Marsha Aizumi
Arcadia, California, Peony Press, 2012

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